We were so happy and blessed to have both sets of Joshua's grandparents travel to Oregon for his baptism this month. He also had an auntie fly all the way in from New York! We had Brent's parents stay at our house for 3-4 days...and then Jane had to be back in Utah to teach Biology to some BYU students. But my mom and her husband Marvin, my sisters Heather and Annika, and our little family got a [fabulous!] condo through our great friends (thanks!) at Seaside for a few days.
We went swimming, and beach combing, jogging, hiking, exploring, cooked together and watched movies. It was a great time! The boys especially had an awesome time with out of town family.
We had some really spectacular weather for April at the Oregon coast. The past two years we've gone to the coast with Brent's parents in April and it has only been rain, rain, wind, cold and rain.
So while my mom and Marv went to Tillamook to see some museums, my sisters, Brent, the boys and I were going to go hike around Hug Point.
Unfortunately, when we got down to the point the tide was TOO HIGH! It was covering the trail.
Everyone was quite disappointed...we were all looking forward to a great hike.
So after standing around the beach for a few minutes...the boys climbed the cliffs...I tried to fly a kite with no wind...Brent tried hiking over the headland to see if we could get to the trail another way...I was seeing desperation in my sister who flew in from New York City and was really wanting to see some coastal forest...
SO...I told the other adults "You guys go and hike Tillamook Head without me and I'll take the little boys to do something else."
You see, hiking Tillamook Head was what they ALL really wanted to do. But it is a 7 mile hike each way...unless you have someone drop you off in Cannon Beach and pick you up at Seaside. And the longest our boys have ever hiked was about 4-5 miles...and that was HARD for them. And I was really tired from jogging on the beach that morning with my sister. So the others had agreed to hike Hug Point instead...a 2 mile hike to a waterfall. But when that wasn't working out...
I know, I know...I am the BEST sister and wife.
I dropped Brent, Heather and Annika off at the trail head in Cannon Beach. Then I took a 1-2 mile hike with the boys in Ecola State Park...in a location where part of 'The Goonies' was filmed, took the boys out to ice cream, and later picked up the others in Seaside. And Brent took the camera, so here are some of his shots:
Storm Clouds and Terrible Tilly (the lighthouse)
Brent was really impressed with the amount our new camera can zoom!
Terrible Tilly
Heather
I found these shots to be enchanting.
The next day we took everyone to Fort Stevens and Astoria:
At shipwreck beach...
There was plenty of wind to fly a kite!
interpretive kite flying (the next big Olympic event)
All the better when you're 22 weeks pregnant (I know...I'm very large and in charge!)
cute sisters and mom
Joshua had fun running in the waves...and as usual, got soaked.
Toby stayed quite away from the waves and played on the sand dunes instead.
And found a small hut to explore (ate some sand)
Climbed on an old stump and said 'take my picture' with enthusiasm!
played in the sand and found a stick...
By the request of Heather, and amidst the protests of playing boys...
We had a noble attempt...
And I must say a VERY noble attempt to take a picture...
And as you can see, by the time Heather got in the shot...the boys were quite done.
whatevea!...
Then we went to see this:
(The Astoria Column)
And to get to the top, you have to climb these:
(Brent did it in just under a minute)
And two boys who are very excited look like this:
(they did a very good job...better than I)
And the view from the top looks like this:
and this:
(!)
And boy(s) who discover they are AFRAID of heights look like this:
(won't you please smile for a picture? No? Ok.)
Boys who are [very] happy to be going back down look like this:
Grandma, Grandpa and Auntie standing at the top look like this:
A zoomed-in view of Saddle Mountain looks like this:
And finally a bald eagle in a tree looks like this:
(right by the parking lot!)
OH...one more thing!
VERY thirsty boys who take a stop at the artesian spring on the way back to Portland look like this:
yum, yum!!
Since I'm on a roll tonight as far as confessionals go...I'm going to address an issue that I have been meaning to address for a very long time. Birth. And more specifically, the upcoming birth of this baby.
There are two parts to this. 1) I realize that how I decide to birth any of my babies isn't anyone else's business, and 2) birth is one of my very favorite and passionate topics. So being therefore forewarned, feel free to either skip this post or read on.
The reason why I choose to write this post despite part 1 (above) is because of all the very well meaning and kind comments and questions I have received and/or heard through the grapevine. Because we all have good intentions, I just want to make sure that everyone has the story straight...because I realize that misconceptions happen and things are misunderstood when things are not completely clear.
So these are pretty much the types of questions that I've been hearing:
Have you decided how you're going to birth this next baby?
Are you going to do anything different?
Have you considered being induced early?
Have you ever thought about what would've happened if you had been induced early with Elsa?
I'm going to start out by saying that I am planning on giving birth to this baby pretty much the same way that I gave birth to all my other babies. My two oldest were pretty much 'hospital home births'...in that I was at the hospital and had no interventions. But because of the few inconvenient hospital protocols that I was required to follow, I spent the few years between Toby and Elsa dreaming of a peaceful, quiet home birth in the water. I know that many women do not dream of birth. And I believe that home birth is not for everyone. And I do understand the reasoning behind wanting a more conventional birth. But one of the most beautiful parts of my experience with Elsa was her birth. It was absolutely my dream birth, but without the live baby that I had dreamt of. And Elsa's death was not as a result of me being out of the hospital. She died two days before she was born. End of story...no speculation. Her birth was just as easy and quick and complication-free as Toby's was (minus the whole not finding a heartbeat part). So if everything goes as planned, this baby will either be born at home or at the birth center. And I will have two very experienced midwives there, along with one or two apprentices. And believe me when I say that I did a lot of praying, researching, consulting with perinatologists, and soul searching before I came to this decision.
Am I going to do anything different? Already, I am hyper-aware of this baby and his movements. I count them all the time. Before Elsa died, I never had one. single. problem. with any aspect of pregnancy or childbirth. I never expected anything to go wrong. The day before she died, I had a prenatal appointment and everything was just perfect. I did not expect her to die. Not. at. all. It was one of the biggest shocks I have ever experienced. It was traumatic and yet beautiful...very tragic, if it were the end. Thankfully it is not. But so far, we have had a more in depth ultrasound (than we had with Elsa) at 18 weeks and we looked for any potential problems in the cord (and elsewhere). I'm happy to say that this baby looks absolutely perfect. And I plan on having two more ultrasounds before and up to 38 weeks (Elsa died at 38.5 weeks), and thereafter if needed. I do not think that any extra ultrasounds would have caught Elsa's umbilical hematoma, but I will feel a bit more reassured knowing that the blood is flowing freely through the cord.
I have had several people say to me "hopefully your doctor will induce you early, considering what happened with your last baby." And while I do not look down upon any other angel mamas who choose that option for the next "rainbow" baby (because it is such a mental and emotional decision), I will not choose that option for myself. Induction with Pitocin would greatly increase the risks of childbirth, and causes a cascade of interventions. 60% of all mamas induced with Pitocin end up having a c-section. In our country more than 1 out of 3 mamas have c-sections (33%), when only approximately 2-4% would be required if birth took it's natural course. A c-section is a major abdominal surgery, which greatly increases morbidity and mortality in mamas and babies.
Last of all, I never have considered the 'what ifs' surrounding Elsa's birth. How can I? For one thing, it doesn't do any good. I can't go back and change anything. And it won't make any difference to my future babies. How would I have known that I needed to be induced early? Believe me when I say that IF I had known, Elsa would still be here. I most certainly would've done ANYTHING to keep her alive. I would've been induced early. I would've had a c-section. If I could've known and if it would've helped...but I did not know. And to be honest, no doctor or midwife would induce a mama before 38 weeks for no medical reason. Remember that everything was fine. Normal the day before she died. It's because of all this that I know she is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! I know that it would've worked out if she was supposed to live. And I've spent a good part of the last 8 months wishing that it could've worked out. And because I know that, I know in the same way that God is in charge of this baby too. I am not taking any unnecessary risks though. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure this baby gets here alive. And I believe that an out of hospital birth will get this baby here the same as a hospital birth would.
Because I am a religious person and I am very interested in childbirth (to the tune of possibly someday becoming a midwife myself), I agree with the statement made by a fellow spiritual pregnancy/childbirth advocate Felice Austin when she says "God is very interested in the way in which His daughters birth and how His children come to this world." This statement comes from
this blog entry...a VERY interesting read.
Thank you to all of my caring friends and family for your support and well-wishes. More prayers are always appreciated. I can literally feel the prayers and the holy ghost carrying me through these times.
I have a confession to make...and I'm mostly making it because the locals are starting to notice:
We have put our house on the market.
The reason why I haven't said anything to pretty much anyone is because we don't really think it will sell at the price we want...AND we don't really want to move. We are very happy where we are and especially now that we FINALLY feel like we're getting our house settled/decorated the way we want it, and the yard is SO dreamy (we have put in A LOT of hard work/manual labor in there). BUT...our real estate agent told us that we have a pretty good window in which to sell in our area right now. She says that houses in our area are selling fast and selling at the price which we would need to break even. She thinks that the prices are going to drop again in the next year or two because interest rates will be going up. So we kinda feel like it might make sense for us financially to sell this house and get into a house that we can pay off sooner...like in 15 years...so we can be debt free much sooner! So we shall see if anyone happens to be interested in buying our house. And if not, that will be totally fine too!
I was about to attach the link to our listing...but then I realized that I would be giving the entire free world our address! So never mind.
It so happens that today is my dad's 75th birthday! I just remembered while we were eating dinner. I don't think that I acknowledge my dad nearly enough. He died when I was 10...he was only 53. I don't know if birthdays are celebrated in the spirit world...but HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway dad!
75 years?? You are OLD!
This is Joshua's favorite thing to do.
This is my favorite 8 year old.
This is my favorite candid picture of his cute face.
Joshua made the decision to follow Jesus Christ and be baptized on April 10, 2010. We were all looking forward to this day! We had grandmas and granddads, and an auntie come into town... and finally the day came!
Joshua's big day!
These pictures were taken just before the baptism started.
As usual for us, things do not go as planned. Right when we were about to start the baptism, a lady came into the room and told us that she was sorry, but we were all going to have to evacuate the building because there was smoke coming from the Stake President's office. So we left and waiting outside, watched as several fire trucks arrived.
We waited and waited for the fire fighters to find the source of the smoke and give us the OK to go back in and proceed.
Several people from our group, waiting...
Joshua and Brent did NOT have time to change out of their baptismal clothing...but Brent did run in and grab shoes.
Toby anxiously watching the fire fighters climb onto the roof
Joshua and boys watching and waiting...
Starting to wonder if we were going to be able to go back in...
a bunch of adorable, waiting boys...
(Some are getting bored of watching)
After waiting for an hour and they still hadn't found the source of the smoke, the bishop gave us the option of having Joshua's baptism later that evening in another church building (in a town 20 miles south), or to wait until the next day...Sunday. We chose to have it later that evening since everyone was already out and ready for a baptism. And just when we were about to leave...the fire fighters FOUND the source of the smoke! It was a broken fan belt in the furnace.
So...we were able to go back in and proceed with the baptism. And it was LOVELY. And Joshua was SO happy as he said he was 'filled with joy'. He also said that he just knew Elsa was there watching...and I'm sure she was! This was so special because it is the beginning step for us to get our whole family together...so that after this life there will be "no empty chairs at our table".
Joshua, we are so proud of you! You have studied this decision and have chosen by yourself to take this step and follow Jesus.
President Ezra Taft Benson said "God intended the family to be eternal. With all my soul, I testify to the truth of that declaration. May he bless us to strengthen our homes and the lives of each family member so that in due time we can report to our Heavenly Father in His celestial home that we are all there--father, mother, sister, brother, all who hold each other dear. Each chair is filled. We are all back home."
