The Wood Between the Worlds

Joshua turned 10!  A WHOLE decade old!!  I seriously can't believe that.

Going through 10 years of pictures takes a seriously long time.  It was very hard to narrow it down to 24 pictures.  But it also brought back lots of memories and emotions.  First, the shock of becoming new parents.  Joshua was planned, but I do not think anything could have prepared us for parenthood.  Then the amazing amount of cuteness and fun and laughter that Joshua brought into our lives.  Next, I cannot deny that there was a lot of frustration with him from preschool through early elementary.  He was just a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.  I sure wish we would have done some things differently with his education, instead of trying to do what everyone else was doing.  Those years came to an abrupt end at about the time the Elsa died.  Then there were the years that we grew together as a family, learning together, having fun together, enjoying each other, and supporting each other through our times of grief and sadness.  Then came Ollie and all the fun we've had since then.  I really think a lot of our Joshua.  He is turning into a really great young person!  Most notably he is so kind and thoughtful of others and their feelings.  He is also smart and fun and a big helper.  He is a great son and big brother.

I asked Joshua to share a few things about himself right now:

As a young girl I went to this summer camp called Brighton Camp and I loved it so much that I worked there for 3 years when I was in college.  One of the big things about camp is singing songs, and Brighton is no exception.  There are a lot of songs, and I enjoyed them so much that I learned to play the guitar so that I could play and sing with my campers.  One of the really popular songs with all the 12 and 13 year old girls is "Misty's Song".  As a young girl, in the middle of adolescent struggles with friends, school, family problems, etc, it just speaks to you.  As a staff at the camp, the young women wanted to sing it so frequently that it gets really old.  After three years of singing it 100 times every week, I was so sick of it and really thought it was just cheesy.  Especially in the context of a counselor and a camper singing it together.

Today I had an ah-ha moment.  I haven't thought about this song for years, and suddenly out of the blue, it popped into my head...and I thought "this is *exactly* how I am feeling *right now*!" {well mostly just the last two verses}.  And then I thought "this song was probably written by a mom who lost her little daughter".  Who knows.  As a camper and a camp worker I always thought this song was written for girls camp.  But the origins are mysterious.  Who wrote this song?  Who is this Misty?  To me, the only Mistys I have ever known were rocker chicks in junior high with 2 foot high bangs, and with {you guessed it} obvious adolescent angst {ok, so I did have a roommate in college named Misty who was a pre-med student}.  But just take a look at the words and think about it.  These words were written by someone *REALLY* missing a special someone.  A kind of longing that just cannot be duplicated between a camper and a staff member.  These words were written by someone really struggling with enduring through trials of life.

Tell me the reason I am so far from home?
Tell me the reason only birds can fly?

source: facebook

Tell me the reason I was born just to die?

How many mountains will I have to climb?
How many memories will I leave behind?
How many daydreams will I make come true?
How many heartbreaks until I find you?

There is a valley called peace of mind.
There is a river running right by its side.
There is a moment of glory so new.
There is eternity to spend loving you.

Here I am 30 weeks pregnant.  I just realized yesterday that I was 30 weeks pregnant with Elsa when we took our vacation to Alaska.  I was so careful with her.  Even though we did lots of crazy stuff like helicopter rides and kayaking and dog sled rides, I was always checking to make sure she was moving.  She was so good through it all.  I never imagined that anything would happen to her.  {I wanted her SO MUCH.}  Looking back at pictures, I don't think I would've believed she was going to die.  I still can't believe she did.  I want her back more than any language can express.  How long is this life going to take before I can hold her again?  Some days I just can't imagine.
That valley called peace of mind only exists in my dreams.

The boys had a big spring break this year, and when I say big I mean long!  They had two weeks scheduled this year, which other years they only have had one week.  And spring break ALWAYS falls at the same time as Joshua's birthday.  For the past several years we've had some pretty amazing trips over spring break.  We've gone to see family in Utah a lot, since a lot of mission homecomings and weddings seem to fall over Spring Break.  And then last year we decided to take a real family vacation down to Southern California and Disneyland, but we were cursed with LOOOONG lines and rainy weather.  So this year we held off until the very last minute to book anything.  As soon as the forecast looked like it was going to be anything but rainy, we made some reservations up north so we could visit the Tacoma Zoo, the Seattle Zoo and the Pacific Science Center for free with our reciprocal memberships.  That was the plan, anyway.  And if we wanted Brent to have enough days off in a row for this trip AND have Joshua's birthday off, it turns out that we would need to celebrate Joshua's 10th birthday in Seattle!

3/24/12
We had the aspiration to drive to Tacoma by noon so we could go to the awesome zooquarium there at Point Defiance.  It's been too long since we visited (it was Toby's 2nd birthday the last time we went).  But dang it!  We did not leave early enough to arrive by noon and have enough time there to make it worth our while.  So instead we took the kids to this little park in Tacoma, which is right next to the hospital where Brent was born!!  The last time we were there was when Joshua was 2.











3/27/12
Joshua's 10th Birthday!!
We woke up fairly early in our lovely cabin accommodations, and took off for Seattle.  The plan was to visit the zoo and the science center (for free with our reciprocal passes).


After the zoo we drove over and found parking at the Seattle Center, which is home to the science center and other famous attractions (most notably the Space Needle!).  It turned out that the science center is not open on Tuesdays during the winter (BOO!), which made Joshua very sad.  That was what he REALLY wanted to do on his birthday.  So we had to come up with another cool idea, fast!  We all decided on taking the elevator up to the observation deck on the Space Needle instead.  It was cool, and also expensive!  But at least Joshua will always remember that experience on his special day.