The Wood Between the Worlds

As a young girl I went to this summer camp called Brighton Camp and I loved it so much that I worked there for 3 years when I was in college.  One of the big things about camp is singing songs, and Brighton is no exception.  There are a lot of songs, and I enjoyed them so much that I learned to play the guitar so that I could play and sing with my campers.  One of the really popular songs with all the 12 and 13 year old girls is "Misty's Song".  As a young girl, in the middle of adolescent struggles with friends, school, family problems, etc, it just speaks to you.  As a staff at the camp, the young women wanted to sing it so frequently that it gets really old.  After three years of singing it 100 times every week, I was so sick of it and really thought it was just cheesy.  Especially in the context of a counselor and a camper singing it together.

Today I had an ah-ha moment.  I haven't thought about this song for years, and suddenly out of the blue, it popped into my head...and I thought "this is *exactly* how I am feeling *right now*!" {well mostly just the last two verses}.  And then I thought "this song was probably written by a mom who lost her little daughter".  Who knows.  As a camper and a camp worker I always thought this song was written for girls camp.  But the origins are mysterious.  Who wrote this song?  Who is this Misty?  To me, the only Mistys I have ever known were rocker chicks in junior high with 2 foot high bangs, and with {you guessed it} obvious adolescent angst {ok, so I did have a roommate in college named Misty who was a pre-med student}.  But just take a look at the words and think about it.  These words were written by someone *REALLY* missing a special someone.  A kind of longing that just cannot be duplicated between a camper and a staff member.  These words were written by someone really struggling with enduring through trials of life.

Tell me the reason I am so far from home?
Tell me the reason only birds can fly?

source: facebook

Tell me the reason I was born just to die?

How many mountains will I have to climb?
How many memories will I leave behind?
How many daydreams will I make come true?
How many heartbreaks until I find you?

There is a valley called peace of mind.
There is a river running right by its side.
There is a moment of glory so new.
There is eternity to spend loving you.

Here I am 30 weeks pregnant.  I just realized yesterday that I was 30 weeks pregnant with Elsa when we took our vacation to Alaska.  I was so careful with her.  Even though we did lots of crazy stuff like helicopter rides and kayaking and dog sled rides, I was always checking to make sure she was moving.  She was so good through it all.  I never imagined that anything would happen to her.  {I wanted her SO MUCH.}  Looking back at pictures, I don't think I would've believed she was going to die.  I still can't believe she did.  I want her back more than any language can express.  How long is this life going to take before I can hold her again?  Some days I just can't imagine.
That valley called peace of mind only exists in my dreams.