8.5.12
We were lucky that Brent's parents were able to come up to Oregon for Milo's baby blessing. Their LDS mission in France was briefly interrupted by a health issue, which required surgery and a few months of recovery. During their recovery time, they traveled the Western states, visiting family. It was good fortune that their visit coincided with the day we had planned to bless Milo at our church. Since we just moved to a new ward congregation and didn't know anyone, and have no other close LDS family up here...it was a good thing they came to be in the very small blessing circle. I'm told it was a wonderful, short blessing! I was trying so hard to keep one of my kids quiet so I could listen to it, that before I knew it, it was over! Ah, the joys... Anyway, here is the day in pictures:
a challenging endeavor to get a picture where everyone is looking!
with Granddad
with Grandma
all of us together!
My self portrait in the mothers room.
I needed documentation of my new outfit and my hair and makeup, which rarely make it past the "just rolled out of bed" look.
sorry
9/10/2012
| Author:
jefferies
I just wanted to get on here quick and say sorry for my post last night. Several nights of little sleep have caught up with me and it's been a little tough. But that's no excuse. I love my life, and I'm grateful. I'm excited to exercise for myself...so I can feel good and happy. Whether or not I get pregnant again. And as far as that subject goes, I promise I will be happy whatever happens. I told myself when I was pregnant with Milo that whether girl or boy, I would be happy. Even if I have 10 boys and no more girls, I refuse to grow old, sad and bitter. I really hope we get another girl. I have all the faith and hope in the world that God could give us that blessing if it is His will. And we will pray about it, and follow His will. That's been my big lesson through all this...just learning to trust His plan for me. It's SO HARD to do. I like control. But I am slowly learning to let go... And as for comparing myself to others...it is poison! It only brings misery. That is another big lesson..one in which, admittedly I've been struggling with my whole life. I need to be happy as me, because that's what I have. I have so many friends having girls right now. Several of them are having their first girl after many boys. A couple of them are having a girl after loosing a girl and then having a boy. I feel like I'm being bombarded with all these mini tests. I will not be jealous, I will NOT be jealous! It's easy to feel happy for them, but hard to not be jealous too.
If you read this, thanks.
This is me speaking, today. Not two months ago. I'm going to skip a bunch of stuff to just get some thoughts down on here. Life has gotten a *bit* busier with four kids than it was with two or three...but it is especially busy because the two youngest are a baby and a busy, curious toddler. As much as I want to keep up on the blog...for my personal record, and for the friends and family we don't get to see much...it is kind of falling by the wayside. The first day of school is tomorrow so hopefully that means things will get less hectic, we'll be doing less stuff, I'll have less to blog about, and can catch up.
Did I mention I am a bit busier? Ok...really I'm getting spanked! It was *really* hard there for a while when baby wanted to nurse 24/7 and toddler was getting into everything. Baby wouldn't let me put him down and toddler resented that and started hitting him. Toddler is also very fond of the toilet, and that's not a good combination. *Sigh*. I can justify all of this insanity because I am SO, SO grateful to have healthy, breathing babies. While it does seem to be getting better in the baby neediness department and the toddler jealousy department...there were still those days that I had to break down and cry. UG! As much as I love my two babies, I can't help from thinking that we probably would've been done having babies after Elsa, if she hadn't have died...and I could be avoiding all this insanity! (Well we might have had one more...maybe). And I wonder why it is that some of my other friends got to have their two boys and one girl and head on their merry way...and we didn't. I know that everyone has their share of hardships, and I understand that others' hardships lie in another area...and it doesn't do any good to wish my trials were different because they aren't. And honestly, the biggest secret I've learned through all of this is that gratitude is the only way to be happy. And I am SO grateful.
{how could you NOT be grateful when you get to see that little mug everyday?}
And happy. But I'm also sad. It's a dichotomy that I think you can only understand if you've lost a very dear one. And so now we decide...do we keep having kids until we get another girl (can you picture me in a 15 passenger van...yeah, me neither), so the only thing I'm left mourning for is Elsa and not the loss of having a daughter {in this life} all together? Or do we adopt a girl? Adoption would be a sure thing...but NOT an easy road. Unless someone has a girl they want to give me. Someone GIVE ME A GIRL! Please. {I can be polite}. But we have some time to think about this...because like I said, I'm pretty tied up at the moment.
Have I mentioned that for a split second, I thought we might be adopting a baby a few weeks before Milo was born. Crazy, huh? My midwife had a client that needed a family for her baby at the last minute because she was backing out of her adoption agency. The client didn't know the gender. I thought it might be a girl, and it was. But we didn't get picked, and I'm glad. Can you imagine my life if I had twins and a toddler? Think I'm busy now?? No, seriously...we could have handled it, but I don't know how much we would've enjoyed or even remembered.
I didn't intend for this to be a whining post, and I'm sorry. I know that life isn't fair, and regardless of that I know that I am abundantly, ABUNDANTLY blessed in every aspect of my life. But I did want to say that school starts tomorrow!! And despite the fact that I will be sad to say goodbye to two great helpers with the baby/toddler and two great house cleaners, I will NOT miss their teasing and fighting! And despite the fact that I will miss summer and sunshine and spontaneous trips to the beach (but let's face it: it's not really spontaneous if it takes until noon to get out the door), I will be happy to have structure again. I will be happy to finally be able to potty train my toilet loving toddler, because we'll actually be home! It will feel so good to get into a regular exercise routine and get back in shape, so I can help kick that baby pudge out the door...and let's face it: so I can get into my skinny jeans again just to get pregnant again. Unless someone gives me a girl in the meantime! I'll also be excited to have time to sew and can and look at all the glorious recipes I've pinned on pinterest so I can plan my menu and grocery shopping around some fun new recipes! And BLOG! And start cloth diapering again because I'll actually be home to wash them. And maybe join a midwifery study group!
So if you are one of my friends who is 1) excitedly awaiting the arrival of a baby girl 2) sending your precious 3 year old daughter off to preschool, or 3) feeling guilty over the arrival of your newest baby because you no longer mourn your angel baby as much...know that I love you, and I'm happy for you. And wishing I was feeling the same. But I'm also grateful that I'm not...because I am in LOVE with Oliver and Milo. And I know that Elsa really is right here with me.
So ENJOY!
7.25.12
Indian Beach
Brent decided to try surfing his little white water kayak in the shallow waves. I liked it because it feels a lot safer to me than being on the river. He liked it becasue it was, well...fun! I think we have a keeper!
all ready to shove out to sea
It was Oliver's first year really getting to *play* at the beach. Last year, he was hardly mobile and we kept him in a pack and play for safe keeping. This year he LOVED it. Absolutely. And it is the lowest stress activity to do with all our kids. We set up camp and stay put, and they stay put and can play for hours. Easy! This is Ollie playing at the little stream, which flows across the beach into the sea.
Here Brent was pushing the kids around in the calm, ankle deep water.
a little more than 3 weeks old here
we set up the small tent on the beach this time, and that was the best idea ever!
Ollie eating snacks in the tent, not such a great idea.
This was about as close as Toby would get to being in the boat and the water. Maybe next year?
7.21.12
At almost three weeks postpartum, I was feeling pretty good and was wanting to get out for some fresh air and even a little exercise! I asked Brent to find us a little hike...somewhere we've never been before (a challenge!).
Cape Horn:
The Washington side of the Colombia River Gorge...beautiful!
Breastfeeding + hiking = double calorie torcher
most of the trails we have been on in the Gorge are pretty easy, quick jaunts to a waterfall or an overlook. NOT so much with this hike. It is a pretty long, pretty steep, pretty rocky switchback hike...but with GREAT views. NOT what I was expecting for us to do at 3 weeks postpartum. I didn't bring water or diapers or anything!
It ended up being about a three mile hike, which normally would be a great family hike for us...
if we were prepared. But also there was no signage on diverting trails, and so it wouldn't be too difficult to get lost. From what Brent read online, it was supposed to be a loop to an overlook, a waterfall, and then back to our car. We kept hiking and never found the connecting trail back to our car. We could have kept hiking for while and ended up down the busy highway from our car, but we decided to forgo the loop, and just head back to our car the way we came...even though it ended up being longer. At least we knew where we were going and when we were going to get there! Ah! Only stressful for a moment there until we decided to go back the way we came. But overall, a beauty of a hike.
we found the waterfall...almost no water this time of year.
Toby in front of Cape Horn overlook (the actually geological feature)...
I took a few pictures of the kids with my dslr camera...more practice!
Cape Horn
Uh oh! What's going on here? Deep thought? Boredom? Impending adolescence??
I'm a little worried. :)
the toddler is a very determined hiker...but hiking up a talus field is just too much for him.
...so he will ride on Brent's shoulders instead!
another serious shot of our big laddie
and our medium laddie
I really wanted to get a picture of Ollie's big round eyes, long lashes, beautiful lips and baby curls (before they were cut off).
Like I said we had a very lovely time on the hike, despite the moment or two of worry and stress...but the funniest part of this story happened the very next day.
Brent subscribes to this Portland hikers online forum, and the next day there was a review of this hike on the forum...which was obviously done by someone who passed us on the hike because they wrote about US!! Haha! Here's what they had to say:
"But I mentioned this is a new trail, right? Ouch! The rocks are pretty loose. Poles tend to be useless, as they plunge into the cracks with each plant. And some genius even designed one segment with seven or eight switchbacks down one of these slopes. I saw a family coming off that, two kids walking, each parent carrying another, one parent seemingly ready to scream at the other for "getting them into this mess!" "
Here's the link if you want to read it yourself! Which, by the way, I wasn't made at Brent for "getting us into this mess", but I think that either Brent or I may have been worried at that moment that we were not going to find the right trail back to our car. It was shortly thereafter we decided to go back the way we came. Still funny though!
The incredibly talented
Tara has done it again. At two weeks old, Milo had his pictures taken...and I LOVE the way they turned out!
Here are some that I took with my dslr...I thought I'd try to learn a thing or two from her:
I don't have photo shop to touch the pictures up the way she does,
but I think some of mine turned out pretty swell!
Tara also took some pictures of her little guy, and I wish she had them posted somewhere public for me to link to because they are absolutely breath-taking!!
I am very lucky to have a lot of friends in my life...I LOVE them all (hey you!). It's so nice to have a friend whose family fits your family, friend-wise. The adults are all friends, and the kids are all friends. That's how the Mansius family has been for us here in Oregon. Tara and I have so many things we love to do together from sewing and canning, to hiking and photography...and honestly the conversational therapy alone is golden.
Well, the most recent additions to our families happen to be born 1 day apart...so we can assume they will be besties too!
Milo is 10 days old here
it's all good and fine until someone decides to eat your head.
