The Wood Between the Worlds

After Disneyland, we had a great itinerary planned.

Saturday: hang out with some old friends in S. Cali
Sunday: go to church in San Luis Obispo, where Brent's parents grew up and met
Monday & Tuesday: camp at Big Sur (Redwood Park) and visit San Fransisco
Wednesday: visit family in N. Cali and drive home

Well...as things often go for us, something happened and we had to rearrange our plans.  And this time, the thing that went awry was the weather.  Ummm...excuse me??  We picked S. Cali for spring break because everyone always gushes about how nice the weather is down there?  Guess what happened??  A monsoon blew through S. Cali.  It was blowing the trees sideways AND it even washed out the road to Big Sur.  There were a lot of things to be grateful for though...like that we weren't AT Big Sur when the road washed into the ocean, AND that we got to spend more time with our old friends in S. Cali.  NICE!


Saturday:
We had nice weather.  We drove up the coast from Anaheim along the charming and sunny route of Hwy 1 through Santa Monica and Malibu and then inland a bit to go visit our friends.

looking down toward Malibu

Here's the best story of the trip: We were driving through Malibu.  It's this super ritzy neighborhood overlooking the sea.  EVERY house has a mercedez or the like parked in the driveway...and Toby is about to pee.his.pants.  What to do?!  We had no choice but to pull over and let him pee!  Sorry residents of Malibu.  Sorry Malibu Barbie!

We met up with our friends and did dinner and the beach.  We then decided to stay at their place for the night, so we could spend more time visiting...instead of getting a motel northward in San Luis Obispo.  Emi is one of my BFF's from high school and she is one awesome woman!  I enjoyed spending time with her (and her husband and kids) SO much!  And as an extra special treat, her sister Amy was in town visiting.  It was nice to catch up.  Saturday night Emi gave me a rad new hair cut!!  Emi is a super talented hair stylist, in addition to all of her amazing talents.



Sunday:
We woke up to pouring rain.  Seriously.  A lot more than we get in Portland.  We went to church with Emi and her family, then came back to their house.  Still pouring.  The palm trees were blowing sideways.  I wish we took pictures.  It was amazing.  We hung around for a few hours until it let up enough to get through on the coastal highway.  We left to drive to our motel in San Luis Obispo.    It was scary.  REALLY scary.  Flooding everywhere.  Torrential downpours.  Slippery roadways.  Crashes.  But we made it.  (SLO is about half way between LA and San Fransisco).   



Monday:
We woke up to a soggy world, but the rain was gone.  We drove around San Luis Obispo and checked it out a bit.  We drove down to the beach, drove back to town, found Brent's parents' houses (where they lived as teenagers), we drove past the church where his parents met, we visited bubblegum alley, and we hiked the tall mountain right in the middle of the city.  And...we pretty much fell head over heels for San Luis Obispo.  What a GREAT little city!!  It's a college town (Cal Poly).  It is cute and little and charming.  It has lots of open spaces.  It's inland a little bit, surrounded by tree dotted hills and mountains...about 15 minutes away from the beach.  AH!  Perfection in a city.  We seriously would not mind living there someday.  Maybe when Brent decides to switch careers and become a college professor we will move there!

Toby pointing out some poison oak!

The view of San Luis Obispo!  BEAUTIFUL little city.

The hills are alive...

Then we took off to visit San Fransisco.  We did a quick driving tour for the boys' sake.  The last time we went there Joshua was 14 months.  So we drove around town, to Golden Gate Park, to the wharf, to Chinatown, to Coit Tower, down the crookedest street, and then over the Golden Gate Bridge.  We stayed in a {VERY} cheap motel that night in Vacaville.  We'll uh, skip stayin' in that town next time 'round {scary!}. 
 
  




Tuesday:
We simply cut our losses and drove up to the Mt. Shasta area to visit Brent's brother and his family.  Then we drove home.  No big sur :-(.  No camping.  :-( 
But we still had a pretty amazing time!


 

We sought out to do Disneyland in as little money as possible.  It was Brent's first time to Southern California and Disneyland, and he has been really reluctant to go.  Mostly because he prefers nature adventures.  And because he does not prefer huge monstrous crowds.  And he is very frugal.  Well...I talked him into going because I was pregnant for two years in a row, and I REALLY wanted to make it up to the kids by doing something fun together as a family.  Here are some of the ideas we came up with to do a frugal Disneyland trip.  These are some ideas that worked well for us:

Only go for 1 day:
There is no way we could see everything in one day.  But we really did not have the desire to see everything.  Everyone told us that if you go for 2 or 3 or more days that you save money.  That is NOT true.  While the cost of your day pass is cheaper each additional day you go, you still end up paying more than going for one day.  AND you end up spending more in the park.  AND we decided that we were going to check out what else there is to see and do in Southern California besides Disneyland.
By the way, we ended up buying our tickets at the main gate on the day we went to Disneyland.  I know it is not the cheapest way, but we felt it was the most scrupulous way to buy tickets...as there are no discount tickets out there for one day.
(And looking back, we are SO glad we only did one day.  We were SO beat!)

Find a cheap motel with free parking, close enough to walk to the park and save money on parking at Disneyland:
It doesn't need to be a super nice motel.  We did not plan on spending any time at our motel other than sleeping, showering and dressing.  We did not drive all the way to Southern California and pay big bucks for Disneyland to lay around a luxury motel.
Our pick was Abby's Anaheimer Inn.  It had a very low rating online.  But it was cheap and clean and had everything we needed.

Pack as much food as possible into the park.  Do NOT leave the park to buy dinner:
Before we left Oregon I made about 100 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and packed them in the bread bag that the loaf came in.  We also had chocolate milk cartons from costco, apples, bananas, oranges, dried fruit, bagels, cheese, turkey jerky, fruit leather, granola bars, etc...and we brought our own water bottles to fill up in the drinking fountains.  We did not ever stop to eat, to save time...because time = money!  We carried all of our food and water bottles in the basket of Oliver's stroller.  Between rides we would swoop over to the stroller and grab food, and eat it while waiting in line.  The only money we spent in the park was for dinner, and we spent around $12 TOTAL for 4 people.  We bought barbecued meat and vegetable shishkabobs in Adventureland.  And we saved a lot of time by not leaving the park...because remember, time = money!  If we ever go in the future and don't have a stroller, we would pack backpacks for each individual.

Pick the time of year to go to Disneyland WISELY!!:
I did some research on the internet before we decided to go and everywhere I read said that March was a good time to go to Disneyland.  Most spring breaks start in April, so March is safe.  So we were VERY surprised to find that the park was PACKED on the day that we went.  SO VERY PACKED.  It really wasn't worth it.  We made the best of it and had fun anyway, but the lines were all SOOO LOOOONG.  I don't want to complain about it too much, but we waited in some lines for two hours and then ended up leaving because we felt like we were wasting time.  I have learned an important factor in timing your Disneyland trip.  Take a look at the blackout dates for the season ticket holders.  Season ticket holders are mostly locals, and they are only allowed to go in the less busy times of the year.  Don't plan your trip the last week before their blackout dates.  If you do, Disneyland will be packed with locals.

If the park is not packed, use the Fast Passes.  IF it is packed, the Fast Passes are no good:
We tried using the fast passes and the line to get in with a fast pass was almost as long as the line without a fast pass.  AND the fast passes ran out about 2 hours after we got there because they got used up for the day.  Boo.  We discovered that instead of using all our time to wait in the really long lines during the busiest parts of the day, we would get more out of our money by doing all the rides with the little tiny lines.  We also spent a lot of time on Tom Sawyer's Island because the boys loved it and it wasn't crowded at all.  Then later after the crowds died down we were finally able to get onto some of the bigger rides like the Matterhorn.

If you're bringing a baby:
Babies can go on a lot of the rides.  We took Oliver on a ton of rides.  I had my ergo baby carrier and wore him on the front so that I didn't have to take him out to get on the rides.  He napped in there.  He nursed in there.  He pretty much stayed in there all day.  We didn't even use the stroller much, except to carry our food.  If you do go on a ride that a baby cannot go on, request a ride swap pass.  Usually you wait with the baby at the exit ramp and then when the other person gets off the ride you swap the baby and go up the exit ramp, so you don't have to wait in line again.  It's a good idea in theory...and I'm sure it works great on days that are not so busy...but we still had to wait 45+ minutes on rides like Indiana Jones because we got in line behind a herd of people with fast passes.  Ug.

Anyway, like I said we still had a lot of fun.  Part of the way through the morning we had to reevaluate our strategy, but after we did that we had a lot of fun.  We stayed at the park and went non-stop from opening to closing and didn't get back to our motel til almost 1 in the morning.  Our kids are at really great ages to stay at the park all day.  And we definitely got the most out of our day, considering the situation.
The boys' favorite rides were:
Toby: The Matterhorn and Pirates of the Caribbean
Joshua: The Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean      

I LOVED Easter this year.  Absolutely LOVe-ED it!  :-)
I wanted to post this yesterday...but too busy.

I'll post more about all of our fun later...but for now, I wanted to add the lyrics to one of the songs we sang in our ward choir yesterday.  It was one of those songs that you never want to stop singing...so beautiful!  I'll be sad that we're done...though it was wonderful to perform it and I think we did a bang-up job, if I don't say so myself.  Hehe!



Behold The Wounds In Jesus' Hands
written by John V. Pearson and put to music by David R. Naylor

The Marks upon His side.
when on the cross He died.

Which saves us from the fall,
built mansions for us all.

Our God, who came to save,
And lifts us from the grave.

His loving hands caress,

Elsa Easter Egg 2011

Then in His arms we rest.

Look to your Lord and live
And all your sins forgive.

When it is filled with sin.
And let your Savior in!

Come touch and see and feel
His love for you is real.

And wash His feet in tears,
And quiets all your fears.

And quiets all your fears.

We gave Spring Break a good chance this year.  I talked Brent into driving down to Southern California...for his first time ever.  {I swore after being pregnant for two years and taking our last trip to not so sunny but very fun Alaska, that we would take a nice, warm vacation}.  We drove 16 hours, straight to Anaheim the first day.

it was amazing how warm it was on the drive down!  Ollie enjoyed the fresh air at a rest stop.

we snatched the kids out of bed early in the morning...so they were still in their jammies, watching movies

The very NEXT morning we woke up bright and early to try to get to DISNEYLAND right as the gates opened.  We were a little groggy, so we weren't there quite as early as we were hoping.

Joshua in front of the matterhorn...the only coaster we got onto :-(

blurry picture of us leaving the park as they close the gates...as tired as all get out.

Some things we learned about Disneyland in the next post...

I hope you don't think badly of me for writing about things that are hard.  I know that probably most of you know me and some of you do not.  I think of myself as a strong person.  And I used to be more confident.  I hope you aren't disappointed in me that I don't seem to be getting stronger from my experience of loosing Elsa.  Sure at first it was pretty easy.  I had such assurances that all was well.  I had so many friends and family surrounding me with love.  I felt my Savior as my constant companion.  But lately, well...lately it's been hard.  Again.  And again. 

Every time someone is going to have a baby {but especially a girl} I get so nervous.  Especially if their situation is like mine was, as in they have two boys and are very exciting to finally be adding a girl to the mix.  I worry and hope that everything will turn out the way they had planned.  But then when they have that baby safe and sound and they are in baby bliss, I start to slip.  This internal struggle begins.  The struggle of being SO happy for that family, while at the same time being SO sad that our situation turned out differently.  The worst is when I read stories about babies that *almost* didn't make it, but then they miraculously pulled through.  Don't get me wrong...I am OVER the MOON elated that others aren't having to experience the ache and the pain that I have.  But I wish that things had happened differently for us.  Could I have been given any kind of sign that she was going to die so that I could rush into the hospital to have her delivered immediately?  No.  Is was not meant to be that way.  She was not meant to be here.

I used to be so ok with that.  I thought for sure that I would be blessed with another little daughter that I got to keep...right away.  And that I would then be this noble, selfless mother who would carry on after giving Elsa a gift.  I was sure that God would not put me though loosing my daughter if he wasn't going to make it a lot better right away?  {I'm not going to write another paragraph about how much that feeling does not effect my love and joy for my baby boy Oliver, even though I could.  Hopefully my adoration for him is shining through in other posts}.

But here is my question for you all...this is what I seem to be struggling with the VERY most:
How can I be happy for others without feeling so sad for myself
{or angry, or jealous, or...insert related synonym here}?  My dear husband thinks that this just might be my big challenge from this experience.

I know that many of you have also lost a baby.  The rest of you have gone through other struggles, whether seen or unseen.  Have you ever lost something that you WANTED so VERY MUCH?  Something that you had prepared for and planned for, for months or years?  Something that can't or won't be replaced for a VERY long time?  How do you deal?  Am I just being a baby?

Here are a coupla things that I do know:
 1) I have it good.  I know other people have it worse than me.  I am regularly humbled by the amount of good I have in my life, and the lack of others in the world.  I'm not comparing with them though and I can't dismiss my pain even though others may have more pain.
2) God is good.  And I know he has a plan for me and for my family and for my Elsa.  And it will make us all the MOST happy in the end.  I just don't always know what it is and it is hard to trust.  I once thought I knew what a great deal of faith felt like...but now I'm just quivering and shivering like a little child.  

So other than those two things, what do YOU do to deal? 


...and for Elsa...

For Mary Lydia: From a Parent Left Behind
By Susan Chock Hartman


Child,
you were not born for sorrow.
I cannot even mourn for you: a few hours
beneath the stars, a name, a covenant,
a safe and shining flight across the sky.


I mourn, instead, for myself,
for my mortal fears, my pain,
for my world-weariness,
for my dark nights. But you, my child,
did not come for such grief.


Someday I shall teach you of this green earth:
of small warm animals,
of cornfields and clay,
of birds that can’t fly,
and of the fear of falling.


And though your new home is
grander, your new life
more splendid, your new world
much lighter, much warmer
than this,
I believe all will be
more beautiful
when I hold you again.

This is a clip from the television show Portlandia.  We've never seen the show, but we laughed heartily when we saw this clip: 



The day before we saw it, I was picking up probiotics at a store in the uber-hip Portlandia neighborhood of Sellwood after Oliver's doctor appointment...and EVERYBODY at the store  {I kid you not} had a bird or an owl {that's still a bird though, huh?} or a tree or leaves on their bag.  Haha!  Wow...those people TOTALLY have my style {I named my daughter after a bird!}.  I loved nature stuff before it became trendy...but I don't care.  Everyone in Portland can love it along with me!!

Wowsas!  Just when I thought I was caught up on the blog, I'm way behind again!

In March Oliver turned 7 months.  The only big change he had was that he learned to sit up independently.  He also went poop on the potty for the first time...I'll thought about posting a picture, but I'll spare you that little detail.  


First, some recent sewing projects:





Some family fun:


  
And here are some pictures of Oliver feeling very accomplished after he achieved his first poop on the potty: