The first thing you're going to notice is that baby #5 is indeed another boy! Yay boys!!! I'm very happy about this since I was wanting a little brother buddy for Oliver. The other thing you'll notice is that he is a HUGE baby. I guess that's what I get for marrying into the huge baby gene pool...as my husband was 12.5 pounds when he was born. Milo is actually a very long and skinny baby...really! He looks like a stretched out 8 pound baby. My midwife's apprentice called him a noodle. And it doesn't really matter the size anyway, since it was my easiest birth yet. When we weighed him I was utterly shocked at how much he weighed!! It thought for sure he was going to be 8-9 pounds, just judging by how easy and smooth the birth went.
I will write up the birth story later...but I will say now that it was a beautiful birth at the Andaluz Waterbirth Center in Tualatin, Oregon. I had my same midwives there who were at Elsa's and Oliver's home births (Jennifer and Jesica), as well as one fabulous apprentice Bernadette. I don't know why I ever chose to have a home birth over going into the birth center! It was so lovely to have a baby there.
SO HAPPY that Milo is here!! He is a very mellow baby. I don't think I heard him cry at all until he was 3 or 4 days old. He sleeps very well, and has slept for 2 - 5 hour stretches each night, leaving me a very well rested new mama! Everyone in our family is smitten with him...though Toby wishes that we would've named him Simon instead of Milo.
It's been ages since I've been able to catch up on here, and for good reason.
With great insanity (though we thought we had good reasons), we decided to move {again} a few weeks ago...when I was 37 weeks pregnant. We're just getting settled in, and trying to persuade our new baby to come and join us. Hopefully that'll happen any day now! In the meantime, our computer isn't working so great...so it doesn't look like I'll be able to catch up on the blog soon. We're all just trying to enjoy summer vacation...and I'm trying to savor my last few days of this pregnancy.
4.4.12
Surprisingly, I'm not sure where what the official name of this hike is. It is somewhere up past Sandy, Oregon...on the way to Mt. Hood. It is a river trail that follows the bank of the river for several miles and you can go as far (or not) as you want. I'll have to ask Brent when he comes home. So we set out on this very rainy day with no particular destination in mind, and hiked for about 2 miles along this wet, muddy trail.
I just had to include this picture of the boys getting their socks on. I thought it was just too cute that Ollie was doing it by himself (or at least trying).
these two pictures are proof of my undying love for Brent. See, I don't have a particular fondness of mud (although I do LOVE hiking and the outdoors and all things green). So the reason that I slosh through these mud pits time and time again is to give Brent the adventures he craves on his days off, year round, rain or shine. Love you Brent!
\
nothing brightens up a rainy day hike like those colorful rain slickers and umbrellas!
We were told when we first moved here that we would never be considered true Oregonians if we used umbrellas. I guess we'll never be true Oregonians, despite our love for the place.
Ollie got restless the last little bit of the hike, so Brent let him out and let him finish it on his own.
Apres-hiking restaurant (I have the hardest time spelling that word!) experience was burgers and shakes at Calamity Jane's, which came recommended by many Oregon-native friends (true Oregonians?).
Chronology
12/1/11
If anyone asks:
"What do you do?"
Simply reply:
I live for a living.
Data comes through
In coherent waves.
Dots become words.
Words form a phrase.
It's a miracle.
Out in the open
With nothing.
Now it's easier
To live for a living.
4.3.12
How is it that we've lived in the Portland area for almost 5 years and still haven't been to every botanical garden or park in the area? Well we had another day or two off for spring break (since we had over two weeks total!), so we had the chance to fit in a couple of new adventures. They were cold and rainy adventures...but adventures, nonetheless.
taking a little amble along the swollen Johnson Creek
the bridge was out since the water was so high...we'll have to come finish this walk another time
THANKFULLY they warned us...these guys can get your shoes rather sticky
even though the weather felt like winter, the spring flowers were out in abundance. Here we have the lovely Camilla.
Hellbore...ugly name, but one of my favorite shade-lovely flowers (I meant to write shade-loving, but I guess they are shade-lovely too)...and one of the only actual flowers I've ever seen that comes in a shade of green.
Ollie, smiling with his eyes again
and last of all, the lovely Trillium...which was almost Elsa's middle name.
I like nature names. Trillium, Camilla, Salal, Azalea...hmm, I wonder which of these names are on our baby short list? Definitely NOT Hellbore.
I DO really like the way they captured my jaw-line.
Yep, Brent got caught by a photo-cop, going 41 in a 30 mile per hour zone. We had heard of these photo cops in the Portland area, and after 5 years of living here we got caught. Poor Brent. It was kind of a crazy speed trap...the speed limit had been 45 mph on this busy highway...but for two blocks was dropped to 30. And seeing that we are often engrossed in cerebrally stimulating conversatiuon as we drive, neither of us noticed the reduced speed until too late. So here we go! Our lovely $200 family portrait. Oh well! Live and learn.
3.31.12
Spring General Conference
Twice ever year we get to stay home from church on Sunday! Yippee!! It's so much fun. Oh, and we stay home all day Saturday, the day before. Why would we do such a thing? We spend 8 hours total watching the leaders of our church speak! And though I admit, I was bored out of my mind as a kid...as an adult, it is the BEST, most uplifting, energizing, direction-giving 8 hours I spend within the 6 month time frame. Especially since Elsa died, it seems there are always reports given just for me...to comfort me and answer my questions. It reassures me without a doubt that Heavenly Father is aware of me, and that the Apostles and leaders giving the talks do receive direct revelation from God...otherwise, how would they know exactly what I needed to hear?
Some fun for the kids
To liven things up for the kids a little, we build a fort, and play games, do worksheets, have snacks.
(Is it so bad of me that I think Ollie is adorable when he cries? I used to watch him for a minute when he was really little, before satisfying his needs...just because I was entranced by his cute crying face).
Now we have a happy Ollie because Toby shared his pillow pet.
utter cuteness
Here is our conference set up...
as a kid growing up in Utah, conference is broadcast on the local television station. But in Oregon, it is not. Thankfully we can watch it over the internet on our computer...because I can't understand how we would get our kids to sit still at church for 8 hours. So we pull the cozy chairs into the computer room and hang out for two days.
And I think the kids mostly enjoy it.
I LOVE that little face!
Here is our grand conference treat!
Oliver loves to wait by the oven window, just watching them bake. He remembers getting burned and has learned the word HOT. He frequently points to the oven and says HOT. He also loves to put the oven mitt on.
finished product...
kamut sweet rolls
The rolls were delicious, but the manna comes in the form of the words I got to sit and listen to all day. I could go on and on about several of the talks and why they were so important to me, but I'll take the time to share my absolute favorite (
this talk felt like it was addressed specifically to me because of how specifically it answered some questions I've had, and how it talks about our relationships with our beloved family members who have gone to the great beyond):
(Is it ok to cut and paste this? Someone please tell me if it's not!)
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Anyone who stands at this pulpit to deliver a message feels the strength and support of members throughout the world. I’m grateful that that same support can come from a beloved companion on the other side of the veil. Thank you, Jeanene.
The Holy Ghost communicates important information that we need to guide us in our mortal journey. When it is crisp and clear and essential, it warrants the title of revelation. When it is a series of promptings we often have to guide us step by step to a worthy objective, for the purpose of this message, it is inspiration.
An example of revelation would be the direction that President Spencer W. Kimball received after his long and continued supplication to the Lord regarding providing the priesthood to all worthy men in the Church when at the time it was available to only some of them.
Another example of revelation is this guidance given to President Joseph F. Smith: “I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them. … We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors … who have preceded us into the spirit world. We can not forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we can not break. … If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, … how much more certain it is … to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond … can see us better than we can see them; that they know us better than we know them. … We live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; … their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves.”
1
Relationships can be strengthened through the veil with people we know and love. That is done by our determined effort to continually do what is right. We can strengthen our relationship with the departed individual we love by recognizing that the separation is temporary and that covenants made in the temple are eternal. When consistently obeyed, such covenants assure the eternal realization of the promises inherent in them.
A very clear case of revelation in my life occurred when I was strongly prompted by the Spirit to ask Jeanene Watkins to be sealed to me in the temple.
One of the great lessons that each of us needs to learn is to ask. Why does the Lord want us to pray to Him and to ask? Because that is how revelation is received.
When I am faced with a very difficult matter, this is how I try to understand what to do. I fast. I pray to find and understand scriptures that will be helpful. That process is cyclical. I start reading a passage of scripture; I ponder what the verse means and pray for inspiration. I then ponder and pray to know if I have captured all the Lord wants me to do. Often more impressions come with increased understanding of doctrine. I have found that pattern to be a good way to learn from the scriptures.
There are some practical principles that enhance revelation. First, yielding to emotions such as anger or hurt or defensiveness will drive away the Holy Ghost. Those emotions must be eliminated, or our chance for receiving revelation is slight.
Another principle is to be cautious with humor. Loud, inappropriate laughter will offend the Spirit. A good sense of humor helps revelation; loud laughter does not. A sense of humor is an escape valve for the pressures of life.
Another enemy to revelation comes from exaggeration or loudness in what is stated. Careful, quiet speech will favor the receipt of revelation.
On the other hand, spiritual communication can be enhanced by good health practices. Exercise, reasonable amounts of sleep, and good eating habits increase our capacity to receive and understand revelation. We will live for our appointed life span. However, we can improve both the quality of our service and our well-being by making careful, appropriate choices.
It is important that our daily activities do not distract us from listening to the Spirit.
Revelation can also be given in a dream when there is an almost imperceptible transition from sleep to wakefulness. If you strive to capture the content immediately, you can record great detail, but otherwise it fades rapidly. Inspired communication in the night is generally accompanied by a sacred feeling for the entire experience. The Lord uses individuals for whom we have great respect to teach us truths in a dream because we trust them and will listen to their counsel. It is the Lord doing the teaching through the Holy Ghost. However, He may in a dream make it both easier to understand and more likely to touch our hearts by teaching us through someone we love and respect.
When it is for the Lord’s purposes, He can bring anything to our remembrance. That should not weaken our determination to record impressions of the Spirit. Inspiration carefully recorded shows God that His communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation. Such recording of direction of the Spirit should be protected from loss or intrusion by others.
The scriptures give eloquent confirmation of how truth, consistently lived, opens the door to inspiration to know what to do and, where needed, to have personal capacities enhanced by divine power. The scriptures depict how an individual’s capacity to conquer difficulty, doubt, and seemingly insurmountable challenges is strengthened by the Lord in time of need. As you ponder such examples, there will come a quiet confirmation through the Holy Spirit that their experiences are true. You will come to know that similar help is available to you.
I have seen individuals encountering challenges who knew what to do when it was beyond their own experience because they trusted in the Lord and knew that He would guide them to solutions that were urgently required.
The Lord has declared: “And ye are to be taught from on high. Sanctify yourselves and ye shall be endowed with power, that ye may give even as I have spoken.”
2 The words
sanctify yourselves may appear puzzling. President Harold B. Lee once explained that you can replace those words with the phrase “keep my commandments.” Read that way, the counsel may seem clearer.
3
One must be ever mentally and physically clean and have purity of intent so that the Lord can inspire. One who is obedient to His commandments is trusted of the Lord. That individual has access to His inspiration to know what to do and, as needed, the divine power to do it.
For spirituality to grow stronger and more available, it must be planted in a righteous environment. Haughtiness, pride, and conceit are like stony ground that will never produce spiritual fruit.
Humility is a fertile soil where spirituality grows and produces the fruit of inspiration to know what to do. It gives access to divine power to accomplish what must be done. An individual motivated by a desire for praise or recognition will not qualify to be taught by the Spirit. An individual who is arrogant or who lets his or her emotions influence decisions will not be powerfully led by the Spirit.
When we are acting as instruments in behalf of others, we are more easily inspired than when we think only of ourselves. In the process of helping others, the Lord can piggyback directions for our own benefit.
Our Heavenly Father did not put us on earth to fail but to succeed gloriously. It may seem paradoxical, but that is why recognizing answers to prayer can sometimes be very difficult. Sometimes we unwisely try to face life by depending on our own experience and capacity. It is much wiser for us to seek through prayer and divine inspiration to know what to do. Our obedience assures that when required, we can qualify for divine power to accomplish an inspired objective.
Like many of us, Oliver Cowdery did not recognize the evidence of answers to prayers already given by the Lord. To open his and our eyes, this revelation was given through
Joseph Smith:
“Blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.
“Behold, thou knowest that thou hast inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou hast been enlightened by the Spirit of truth.”
4
If you feel that God has not answered your prayers, ponder these scriptures—then carefully look for evidence in your own life that He may have already answered you.
Two indicators that a feeling or prompting comes from God are that it produces peace in your heart and a quiet, warm feeling. As you follow the principles I have discussed, you will be prepared to recognize revelation at critical times in your own life.
The more closely you follow divine guidance, the greater will be your happiness here and for eternity—moreover, the more abundant your progress and capacity to serve. I do not understand fully how it is done, but that guidance in your life does not take away your agency. You can make the decisions you choose to make. But remember, the disposition to do right brings peace of mind and happiness.
Should choices be wrong, they can be rectified through repentance. When its conditions are fully met, the Atonement of
Jesus Christ, our Savior, provides a release from the demands of justice for the errors made. It is wondrously simple and so incomparably beautiful. As you continue to live righteously, you will always be prompted to know what to do. Sometimes the discovery of what action to take may require significant effort and trust on your part. Yet you will be prompted to know what to do as you meet the conditions for such divine guidance in your life, namely, obedience to the commandments of the Lord, trust in His divine plan of happiness, and the avoidance of anything that is contrary to it.
Communication with our Father in Heaven is not a trivial matter. It is a sacred privilege. It is based upon eternal, unchanging principles. We receive help from our Father in Heaven in response to our faith, obedience, and the proper use of agency.
May the Lord inspire you to understand and use the principles that lead to personal revelation and inspiration, in the name of Jesus
Christ, amen.
Joshua turned 10! A WHOLE decade old!! I seriously can't believe that.
Going through 10 years of pictures takes a seriously long time. It was very hard to narrow it down to 24 pictures. But it also brought back lots of memories and emotions. First, the shock of becoming new parents. Joshua was planned, but I do not think anything could have prepared us for parenthood. Then the amazing amount of cuteness and fun and laughter that Joshua brought into our lives. Next, I cannot deny that there was a lot of frustration with him from preschool through early elementary. He was just a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I sure wish we would have done some things differently with his education, instead of trying to do what everyone else was doing. Those years came to an abrupt end at about the time the Elsa died. Then there were the years that we grew together as a family, learning together, having fun together, enjoying each other, and supporting each other through our times of grief and sadness. Then came Ollie and all the fun we've had since then. I really think a lot of our Joshua. He is turning into a really great young person! Most notably he is so kind and thoughtful of others and their feelings. He is also smart and fun and a big helper. He is a great son and big brother.
I asked Joshua to share a few things about himself right now:
~Best thing about family:
A lot of things. Love. Having fun together, playing games together.
~Best thing about church:
Learning the gospel.
~Favorite color:
Light sky blue.
~Favorite food:
Tamales
~Favorite activites:
Playing games with family, reading, going to the beach, going to the park.
~Favortie vacation:
Going to Alaska
~Favorite thing to learn about:
Science
For his birthday party this year I offered to let him pick two friends and go somewhere fun with them. He picked his friends T and K. But because he's such kind person, he wanted to invite K's younger brother J too...so he wouldn't feel left out. And of course, Toby is his best friend so he came too. And since the two older Mansius brothers were coming, we just had their mom meet us there and all four of their kids joined the party. Ah...so much for two friends! So we all went to Pump it Up, so jump and play...and then we brought everyone back to our house for pizza, cake and ice cream with the aunties and cousins too (we would've invited the aunties and cousins to pump it up also, but it was on a weekday when they were working). A great time was had by all!
All of the kids got a great work out at Pump it UP!
Joshua's birthday cake!
I thought with all those kids and the aunties and cousins that we had enough people for a big, yummy Costco cake (and normally I make the cake, but we got home from Seattle the night before)...but after everyone finished we still had a ton of cake left to put in the freezer! Yummy though...I'm not complaining {though maybe I should be keeping my sugar intake in check so I don't have a 12 pound baby!}
Joshua and all the friends!...
I think he's holding out his arms so the littler kids won't blow out his candles. :)
{Oh...and I'm loving the windows and light in our new house! For once we have light, bright birthday pictures!
And I love that it finally isn't pouring on Joshua's birthday...this is the first year in 5 years, I think.}
One of Joshua's best friends "T" playing with his new Perplexus...see I told you the kids LOVE it. He was so engrossed in it that he wouldn't even look up for the picture.
Wow!! Joshua LOVED the books that the Mansius family gave him...interesting how they just happened to know how much Joshy LOVES the Basher Science books and wants to collect them all.
Ollie was loving my sister's little doggy
Oh! The babies loving on little Leelou.
And finally, we sang happy birthday to Joshua again when the aunties and cousins came over...
We would've done it once, but we had to rush Joshua's friend "T" home so he could leave on his family vacation.
We had a great time this year! Thanks for everyone who came to celebrate with us!
As a young girl I went to this summer camp called Brighton Camp and I loved it so much that I worked there for 3 years when I was in college. One of the big things about camp is singing songs, and Brighton is no exception. There are a lot of songs, and I enjoyed them so much that I learned to play the guitar so that I could play and sing with my campers. One of the really popular songs with all the 12 and 13 year old girls is "Misty's Song". As a young girl, in the middle of adolescent struggles with friends, school, family problems, etc, it just speaks to you. As a staff at the camp, the young women wanted to sing it so frequently that it gets really old. After three years of singing it 100 times every week, I was so sick of it and really thought it was just cheesy. Especially in the context of a counselor and a camper singing it together.
Today I had an ah-ha moment. I haven't thought about this song for years, and suddenly out of the blue, it popped into my head...and I thought "this is *exactly* how I am feeling *right now*!"
{well mostly just the last two verses}. And then I thought "this song was probably written by a mom who lost her little daughter". Who knows. As a camper and a camp worker I always thought this song was written for girls camp. But the origins are mysterious. Who wrote this song? Who is this Misty? To me, the only Mistys I have ever known were rocker chicks in junior high with 2 foot high bangs, and with
{you guessed it} obvious adolescent angst
{ok, so I did have a roommate in college named Misty who was a pre-med student}. But just take a look at the words and think about it. These words were written by someone *REALLY* missing a special someone. A kind of longing that just cannot be duplicated between a camper and a staff member. These words were written by someone really struggling with enduring through trials of life.
Tell me the reason I was born to roam?
Tell me the reason I am so far from home?
Tell me the reason only birds can fly?
 |
| source: facebook |
Tell me the reason I was born just to die?
How many mountains will I have to climb?
How many memories will I leave behind?
How many daydreams will I make come true?
How many heartbreaks until I find you?
There is a valley called peace of mind.
There is a river running right by its side.
There is a moment of glory so new.
There is eternity to spend loving you.
Here I am 30 weeks pregnant. I just realized yesterday that I was 30 weeks pregnant with Elsa when we took our
vacation to Alaska. I was so careful with her. Even though we did lots of crazy stuff like helicopter rides and kayaking and dog sled rides, I was always checking to make sure she was moving. She was so good through it all. I never imagined that anything would happen to her.
{I wanted her SO MUCH.} Looking back at pictures, I don't think I would've believed she was going to die. I still can't believe she did. I want her back more than any language can express. How long is this life going to take before I can hold her again? Some days I just can't imagine.
That valley called peace of mind only exists in my dreams.
