The brown 'Born Free' Moby Wrap is the wrap that I bought when I was pregnant with Elsa. I bought it used on craigslist. I thought the butterfly was cute and the brown would match with most of my clothes. And yes that is Ricki Lake in the above picture. She produced this documentary called The Business of Being Born, which is a very informative documentary. And these Moby Wraps were being marketed with the documentary. That wasn't necessarily the reason why I bought one (though I do agree with the message of the documentary)...I bought it mostly because I liked it and it was cheap.
Flash forward to after Elsa's birth. One of the first things I noticed after her birth was the Born Free Moby Wrap sitting in her empty room. Was this a coincidence? My Elsa, Born Free?
Over the past year whenever I get to thinking about how sad I am that my baby died, I think about the Moby Wrap and the message to me: Born Free. Yes having my baby die is very hard and very sad. But she was Born Free. Elsa was Born Free from pain. Elsa was Born Free from sin. Elsa was Born Free from temptation. Elsa was Born Free from trial, hunger, pride, malice, war, anything this crazy world can inflict she was Born Free from. This truth, above everything else, is what brings me the most joy and comfort. Death is easy (and probably delightful) for the one dying. It is only difficult for those left behind. But imagining her spirit Free and knowing that she is protected from all of the bad stuff this world has to offer, that makes it a little easier for me.
Over the past year whenever I get to thinking about how sad I am that my baby died, I think about the Moby Wrap and the message to me: Born Free. Yes having my baby die is very hard and very sad. But she was Born Free. Elsa was Born Free from pain. Elsa was Born Free from sin. Elsa was Born Free from temptation. Elsa was Born Free from trial, hunger, pride, malice, war, anything this crazy world can inflict she was Born Free from. This truth, above everything else, is what brings me the most joy and comfort. Death is easy (and probably delightful) for the one dying. It is only difficult for those left behind. But imagining her spirit Free and knowing that she is protected from all of the bad stuff this world has to offer, that makes it a little easier for me.
Someday...we'll have our Elsa back and the world will be beautiful. Until then I feel a twinge longing and awe when I see beautiful birds and butterflies and think of my Elsa flying free...a heavenly blessing.
And for now, I'll keep using that Born Free Moby Wrap...on each little earthly blessing that is sent to us.
3 comments:
Beautiful Kate.
We talked about the Second Coming in our Primary class yesterday and it was so cute to see how excited the kids got at the idea of playing with the animals, no one being bad or mean anymore, and everyone being healthy. I look forward to the getting-to-raise-your-baby part. I forget sometimes that I still have one more baby to raise, but it makes me very happy when I remember it.
What a beautiful post. Elsa will never be forgotten. When I try and find positive after the loss off Preslie, I am grateful that she is free from the trials of this life. I am grateful that we will be able to raise our daughters in a perfect place. Hugs to you and your little family.