We went to Utah over spring break to attend Brent's youngest sister's wedding. Liz and Jonny have been dating for 6 years (since high school) and we are just SO thrilled that they are finally married. We are so happy for them!
Beautiful Day:
The brand new Draper Temple
Jonny, Liz with Brent's parents
The beautiful Jefferies sisters
The Jefferies sisters + sisters in law
The whole Jefferies clan minus one brother and a couple of inlaws and plus two cousins
YEP...that's my green dress!
The happy couple
I feel a great depth of gratitude that Brent and I were married in an LDS temple 10.5 years prior.
I am so thankful that because our family is sealed that we will be able to be a family forever...and I know for certain that we will have the chance to raise Elsa.
Driving to Utah:
A short waterfall hike in the Colombia River Gorge...can't remember which.
18 weeks pregnant...this is my biggest belly EVER! And nope, no twins.
But my regular jeans still fit.
(Ugh! The green on this camera is blech!)
This is when we stopped at the Malad Gorge in Idaho:
We heard Meadowlarks singing all along the trail...
and when we went to leave in the car, one was sitting on a post right next to me!
I tried to snap a picture of it, but it flew away when I turned on my camera, dangit!
I snapped this picture driving through Idaho. I had forgotten about white puffy clouds, because we just don't get them in the Portland area. We either have thick cloud cover, or completely clear skies.
sewing
3/25/2010
| Author:
jefferies
Thanks to the creative influence of my 2 friends...
I've been on a sewing rampage frenzy. I'm loving fabrics.
Sewing comes in handy when you want to customize your decor:
This selection of fabric is for my living room...
Love the bird fabric...and it incorporates the orange, green and blue in the room!
That's my next project and I'll post pictures when I'm done.
Sewing is a skill that comes in handy if you have a few rough and tumble little boys around:
I do A LOT of THIS
...and I do mean A LOT.
By the way, I know girls can be rough and tumble too (I put a lot of holes in my pants when I was a kid).
Sewing comes in handy if you would like a certain dress in a specific color:
The top of my green dress for my sister-in-law's wedding.
(The picture on the top is the more accurate color.)
The finished product.
By the way...the green on my new camera is WAY off. I'm not too happy about it. I really need to read the manual and learn the manual settings.
Sewing comes in handy if you want to customize a baby gift for someone, because any other gift for a baby girl feels awkward to me right now:
blanket for my niece who was born exactly 2 months after Elsa.
And more is on the way...
I missed posting a picture of Toby at 7 months...
Everyday I am reminded that I must have patience. Patience to wait until baby number 4 is born (after two years of being pregnant). Patience to wait for another baby girl. Patience to wait for Elsa.
I'm not sure if posting this picture is something that comforts me or not. Does it help me feel better to know that Elsa would probably have teeth and be so smiley and interactive right now? Not really. I really wish that she was 7 months old right now instead of a newborn baby frozen in time. But at the same time, I often reflect on how glad I am that she is preserved in a little time capsule as a newborn baby. I am SO grateful that I will get her back at the age in which she is now preserved...and I have much to look forward to. Patience. Patience. Patience.
Joshua
Toby
Elsa
Baby #4
Isn't he cute???
He's going to look a lot like Brent, I think...
I love all of my babies SO much, it's just indescribable. I am SO glad that the little one inside of me is ALIVE and healthy and I am VERY excited to meet him.
Dear Elsa,
Today it's been 7 months since you were born into my arms and I got to see your beautiful face and hold your dear body. And though I am always filled with awe that you are my daughter and that I got to spend 9 months with you, today I just miss you. I miss you terribly. You are my daughter. And I wish that you were alive. Oh, how I've caught myself wishing that I could go back in time to one year ago. We found out you were a girl. I got to spend those months with you kicking inside and knowing you. And then you died. And I know that you're happy and safe, but that can't stop me from wanting you back.
But now it's a year later and your little brother is safe inside my womb. And I love him SO much! But still I grieve. I grieve for you and I mourn for a living daughter. These feelings are complex! I never knew that I could feel so happy and so sad at the same time. Elsa...I am sorry. It seems that I had skipped over several aspects of my grieving process for you. I never packed up the nursery and clothes which you were going to use. I never took down the picture that I drew for Toby of our family with mama, deedle, Joshua, Toby and a sweet little girl. I never asked why. But now I have to. And my heart is breaking for you all over again, and in ways that it never did in the first place.
Elsa, I don't know if anyone else can understand what I am feeling right now. How I can suddenly miss you so much again? How I can feel that, while I still feel excitement for the coming of your brother?
Elsa, I want you to know that I have faith that this is all part of our Heavenly Father's plan for our family. I may not understand it all right now, but I believe in Him and I know he loves me. I want you to know that no matter how many times we are tested and tried as a family...we will still be here with love and gratitude, trying to be our best disciples of Christ.
And Elsa, since I don't think I will be able to be with you again for so very many years...can you see if it is possible to send just 1 living sister here to this earth? Do you think you could start trying to arrange that for our family now...so in a couple of years everyone will be ready?
I really want you to know that I think your little brother is amazing. He's already done so much good for us. For one thing, he is really helping me get through the grief that I had repressed. This will be a really good thing for me in years to come. It's best to get it all out and not repress grief. For another thing, he is helping me to know that this is all in God's hands and to not fear for his life. Oh of course, I still feel really cautious over him and I will definitely be counting his kicks every day. Also, I can see light and excitement in your brother's and deedle's eyes. They are very excited to have him! And so am I!
Dear sweet one, will you please continue to watch over us? And know that we always love you and miss you.
With love, forever,
xoxo,
mama
The Banks-Vernonia Trail is an awesome rail to trail project in Oregon (where they took an unused railroad line and turned it into a paved pedestrian path)...and it is an Oregon State Park! A 20 mile long linear State Park! How cool is that? (Very!)
Anyway...we had a sunny day on Saturday and so we went biking. NOT 20 miles...but we did a few miles through Stub Stewart State Park and back. All uphill on the way there.
It was a great opportunity to
finally take some outdoor pictures with the new photo apparatus.
Getting ready:
super cute Toby!
testing out the super zoom (20x)
a super close up of a salamander crossing the road
a quaint little farm...oh my dream!
Well, one of my dreams...and I can't seem to make up my mind which one I want to live.
a soooooooooper long bridge to cross
a super enchanted forest
a super good biker (or at least a sooper trooper)
an old RR X-ing sign...proof of another era
flying down the trail on the way back
ah...budding spring
Toby and mama self portrait:
I love this picture because it captures how Toby loves to put his hand on my face.
He's been doing that since he was a tiny tot!
a super silly pair
A SUPER fun time had by all!
Post script:
I am very grateful to have a husband who pushes us to get out and have lots of adventures. I have always loved these sorts of activities...but I unfortunately am at a time in life where I don't think I would take the initiative to do them. But I am ALWAYS so grateful for the beauty, the fun, the fresh air, and the family togetherness that come from these times. YAY Brent!
