The Wood Between the Worlds

Wheeeee-Hooooo!  Am I EVER glad that is NOT me anymore.

 Since the blog posts are flowing nicely in my mind, I thought that I would continue to catch up on some summer events that I missed.

 Toby was too cute to not put this picture in...the kid in need of a haircut!

See, the grandparents came to town...and we took them to the Pittock Mansion, the Classical Chinese Garden and to Mt. St. Helens.  Whew!

I just have to say...I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude today.  

At times in the past year since I found out I was having another boy I have thought to myself "3 boys in my family?!?  That's not how it was supposed to happen."  

I was supposed to be one of those families with 2 boys and then a girl.  And then another boy.  I have always felt that.  And when I found out Elsa was a girl, I expected that to be my life.  I have to stop myself to remember that just because she died, it doesn't change that...2 boys, 1 girl and then another boy.  But I've struggled with the thought of 3 boys.  Not with each child individually, because I love them each fiercely!  Just with the idea of 3 boys.  It doesn't help that the world seems to frown down upon lots of little boys.  People don't want to deal with the energy, I guess.  

But lately I've been thinking about how Elsa died...about how nothing really happened that caused her to die.  There was no accident or fall or breakage of anything other than her little umbilical vein.  Just one little vein and life is over (for now).  LIFE is really quite fragile and unpredictable.  But it is also STRONG and consistent.  But you never know which you're going to end up with.  And so with that thought, my heart is won over.  I will cherish every single energy-sucking moment with my boys.  Because who knows how long we'll have it.  

Oliver, oh my sweet Oliver.  Today I was holding, squeezing and tickling him and he was squirming with joy and rumbling belly laughs.  He is so soft and warm and round and squishy and ALIVE.  He is the sweetness in my cookie life.  I am SO lucky and joyous that he is here.  And so I am not going to let anyone or anything distract me from that joy.  No, not the passers-by who comment about my kids or ALL my boys.  And for now I feel happy and content with 3 boys...but not just with 3 boys.  I've got Joshua, Toby and Oliver on this earth.  And this summer I'm going to romp and play like I haven't for 2 whole years!

I really wanted to say thanks to everyone who made an effort to let me know that they're still thinking about Elsa.  Your words and kindnesses have touched me, just as they did in the beginning of my new life.