The Wood Between the Worlds: something new for elsa

3/29/2010 | Author: jefferies

The day before we left for Utah, I emailed the people at the cemetery and asked if it would be possible to have Elsa's grave marker set for us sometime while we would be there so we could go and see it. They were able to have it set the day that we were traveling. It was really nice to head to her little spot and see the marker there.

I'm not completely satisfied with it though...

Part of me just wants to let it be and call it done, but I think that they goofed a little bit and I should ask them to fix it. The center of the marker where the words are has a polished finish and the border has a sanded finish. No big deal, right? But when we were looking at all the other markers they were the opposite. The other markers are much easier to read, with the words on the sanded finish.

We went to the backyard bird shop to find some treasures to leave with her. Toby picked out the bee windmill. I picked up the bird rain gage. I really like it, even though it's a goldfinch and not a meadowlark. I thought it would be cute for the boys to put little flowers in the rain holder every time we visit. But alas...I know that the grounds people will take these down. I understand why they have to, but still it's sad. So...we left the bee up, and we hid the little bird deep in the bush behind her grave. Sneaky, I know...but it makes me feel happy to know that little birdie is peeking through the bush at her all the time. And when we visit, we will pull it out to put flowers in...and then put it back sometime before we leave.

It's much more fun for the boys to visit now that there's a marker...and they LOVED being able to leave something special for her. (And NO, we did NOT pick out a bird and a bee on purpose :-).

Another fun thing was that I got to meet in person another angel mama that I've corresponded with over the internet for the past several months. This is Amy, and her daughter Lexi (whom she also lost in 2009) is buried within a stone's throw of Elsa's grave. We met up at the cemetery and then went out for lunch. Amy is also pregnant again.

(Please, oh pretty please excuse the hideous picture of me!)

All of this was good and fine.

But I am still hurting. every. day.

And I'm wondering when all of this will ever be over.

I say no more.

Post Script: (don't worry I finally signed up for counseling...)

Elsa, grief, utah |

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2 comments:

On March 29, 2010 at 4:32 PM , ashley said...: I really don't know what to say. I just want you to know I'm thinking about you. I love that you met up with Amy. Sorry we didn't get to see you. We missed the wedding. Are you guys coming down for the reunion this summer?
On March 30, 2010 at 7:52 AM , Windybrook Spinner said...: We got counseling. It was before Winnie came, not after, is the only difference. It helped us so much!