I have had a few experiences lately that have got me thinking.
1) I have a friend who more recently than me had a stillbirth :*( (it seems like the season of losses). I have been emailing her and telling her about what I have learned in the past 8 weeks. From doing this, I realized that I have made a lot of progress in healing. The two most important things are: I am at peace with God over my loss, and I know the loss was not my fault. And in fact, because of the statistics, I am pretty darn sure this will never happen to me again.
2) I talked to a friend recently who is single. She told me that in the past she has tried to be happy and get on with her life, but she has had a constant ache about not having a family of her own. I can definitely relate to that ache, however, I realized also how VERY grateful I am for the FAMILY that I have...including the ones in the spirit world...the ones who have gone before me and the ones who have yet to come. I am especially so grateful for Brent. I know that he is my greatest gift from a loving Heavenly Father. My friend went on to tell me that she has now chosen not to feel that ache, but just trust Heavenly Father that she will have a family someday. What an awesome example to me, since fear and faith cannot exist together. Which brings me to my next thought:
3) Today I was in one of my favorite children's clothing stores and I couldn't help noticing how adorable their girl stuff was. That made me a little sad. But then I thought: I cannot let fear or doubt into my heart. I am going to have another daughter. I am absolutely sure of that. I just have to have patience.
4) When I think of Elsa I only want to feel happy. I only want to think of her loveliness and her perfectness. I only want to think of the day which I will embrace her and cradle her in my arms again. I am going to try my hardest to focus on my spiritual relationship with her, because I believe that if I can keep focusing on that I will get to know her better than I ever would've in this life.
5) Elsa was once the daughter of my dreams. She came so close to being my reality. And once again, she is the daughter of my dreams.
Our Dancing Queen
2 weeks ago
1 comments:
I just love the music you have on your blog!
How neat that you can help your friend through that terrible time. That is true empathy. I remember one of the general conference talks about how when we find ourselves in really hard situations we come out of it able to help others through empathy. I'm sure you are a great comfort to her, as only someone who has experienced the same thing can be.
I think about you often and want you to know how much I appreciate you continuing to share your thoughts and grief and healing with people like me.