(you've been warned)
This is how I'm feeling today:
I think I'm in shock!
I can't really believe what I've been through.
I miss my sweet baby's face.
I wonder why babies have to die...I mean couldn't there be a less mama heart breaking way for perfect spirits to experience mortality?
I can't believe how long my pregnancy was, after looking over the blog entries of the last year.
I can't believe how many months I endured queasiness, uncomfortability, slowness, largeness and pre-labor contractions. Thankfully labor was a breeze, which I would love to do again.
I can't believe that I will have to be pregnant again for 9 months before I can hold my own baby.
I can't believe that I have a nursery full of girl stuff and I have no girl. HOPE and pray for another girl, is all I can do.
I am annoyed at all of the baby coupons I am getting in the mail.
I am sad when people avoid me because they don't know what to say. At least here [on my blog] you don't have to say anything, huh?
Of course I am happy that I could do all of this for Elsa.
Our Dancing Queen
2 weeks ago
6 comments:
i wish you didn't have to have a broken mama heart, too.
and i'm praying you can have another baby soon. i think of you all the time!!
xoxo
I'm thinking about you guys all the time too...glad I can read your blog and keep in virtual touch!
I'm so sorry! I wish I could say something to make it better. I just hope someday after this life we will all understand the trials that we had to go through and it will all be worth it. Love ya.
Even mommies that have suffered loss are at a loss to give you words of comfort. the last thing they or any other mommy wants to do is make you feel uncomfortable or cry. Please know that thier silence is in a way a gift. It's not ignoring you I promise.
Hang in there Kate it gets easier and the only medicine on top of what you are doing is time. Its been years since I lost my last pregnancy and I'm still sad about it. Time is the magic ingredient.
I'm not looking for words of comfort. I am looking to not be skipped over on the way to admiring someone else's new baby. I feel uncomfortable and cry anyway (not all the time), and that is a part of healing. It is not something to fear or shy away from. I did not loose my pregnancy. My pregnancy was over. I lost Elsa.
At our last ward picnic, the only person who said something to me about my loss was an elderly man whom I have never spoken to before. He simply said "I'm sorry for what you went through. That is hard." That was perfect and comforting...that's all.
Oh Kate I know the feeling all too well...it is the WORST thing a person could do to not mention your baby, and yet most people think that that is what they should do to avoid causing you even more pain. But you are already thinking about her so them mentioning her isn't going ot make you more sad, in fact it makes you happy because you know someone is acknowledging her!
I'm so sorry people have been avoiding you. Its the worst. I'm so sorry. I remember her! Did you know that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month? Go here http://www.october15th.com/activities_walks.htm and scroll down to Oregon..it looks like there is a walk going on. Don't know if it is near you or not. But I'm sure there is something going on around you. I love them because its a time where you can honor and walk in memory of your baby. {hugs}!